British Music Scene Officially 'An Insulting Joke'

Oh dear. What an admission. The 'Brits' - a national embarrassment to any sane music lover in Britian - had their annual asskissing session last night. It's finally happened, a butt-clenchingly self conscious affair at best, is now so out of touch that they may as well be giving prizes to the school donkey.

  • Scissor S[h]isters, those famous bartenders and delicatessen counter workers, got several gongs, for biz licking, prancing about for old pouffs and dressing up in silly costumes, cos thats entertainment folks.

  • Josh Stone - posh bird with blond locks from surburban nowhere town, good at karaoke, never wrote a song in her privileged life, gets 'Urban' gong. [I simply can't credit this...]

  • 'Angels', an obscure song from this side of the pond, sung by a fat working men's club star from Up North, won the best song in the past 25 years. This is so gobsmacking, it's ludicrous.

  • Lifetime Achievement gong to Geldof, star of Lord of the Rings some ancient tragi-charity bash, I think he made the tea. He certainly NEVER EVER wrote any music worth rewarding.

  • We live in a country whose duty is to live up to the legacy of Pink Floyd [Radiohead], Led Zeppelin [Verve anyone?], Punk Rock [Oasis], Beatles [Coldplay] etc etc etc, and what do we get??? Some camp Carry-On stars and some small boys [virgins natch] that no one has heard of outside of the greater boundary of Hoxton.[This is a bitchy reference to the Franz Ferdies, who live in the arsecrack of Hoxton Square, trendy hellhole of London Socialites.]

    A bunch of stuck up twerps from the home counties have taken over every major position in the mainstream industry, and have exorcized every last vestage of originality and dare from the scene. Oh dear, and they have the audacity to exclaim that sales are up. Sales of donkey feed one presumes.



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